2 Be Heard

Bout of negativity . . . . . .

2011-08-16T09:22:00.000-07:00

At one hand, life is facing stagnation. And on the other hand, anticipating the day to come, when conditions are right to move on. Unfulfilled desires and the agony of waiting snow-balled the feelings into regrets and self-pity.

Will the winding road leads to the end of tunnel? Does anticipated desires be fulfilled when I got it, or it will just lead to even more desires. Knowing the answer yet I know without attaining the goal, this cycle of regrets and self-pity will never end.

Been sometime having this spell of negativity. But I suppose its normal since I am still learning. Just some observation when see people goes on well in life and here I am having limbs chained up :D

Dog poo!

2011-08-03T06:16:00.000-07:00

What do we do when we step on dog poo?? (esp nowadays alot of dog owners)

1) Do a break dance on a grass patch?

2) Scrap it at some wall where nobody is around?

3) Clean it with tissue paper and throw it away?

But definitely we don't wrap the shit in a plastic bag, bring home and share with our family :) Much less opening up to compare who got the smelliest poo!

But often than not, we do so......

When our days are not doing well, facing a lot of problem in life, we wrap it up nicely, bring it home, complain to our family or worst venting our frustration at them......

Some even compare with each other how bad they are, trying to win some empathy and justifying their wrongs. Result is the poo just go one round and everyone increase their share of poo.

There is a nice Chinese saying, "烦恼人不能找烦恼人". Instead of finding fellow complaints suffering at their lowest moment, maybe try complaining to a charge-up person, letting him spill over some joy and encouragement to you :P

Run 350 '11

2011-04-17T06:08:00.001-07:00

Had a nice run this morning :D Although kana fly kite by my friend again but still manage to enjoy the run. Seems like different run gives a different feel maybe due to the theme and awareness it wants to bring across.

For Run350, it is an international event to bring awareness to increase in atmospheric CO2 in relation to carbon emission that believe to threaten the survival of life on earth. Read this link to know more about the event;

http://www.run350.com/aboutrun350.html
Do also toggle to the "gallery" page to find some nice video and information. Let's stop abusing and exploiting mother nature.

I have managed to grab some nice photos posted by the organising committee's facebook;

https://picasaweb.google.com/104016210674301053328/Run35011?authkey=Gv1sRgCNWBosuz9ITvIQ&feat=email#

As early as 6am, I made my way to The Promontory@Marina Bay. The train was almost colored in sea of orange ( color of the running tee). The location was rather easy to find as unlike the other runs, this run has smaller crowd. The logistic arrangements were smooth and it doesn't take me long to get myself at the starting line.

It's also the first run that segregated the guys and the ladies. Good as the run is less packed but bad as in about half the journey, my ego was deeply affected by ladies and overtook me . . . . . . Maybe due to my days of mugging for my exam, headache sets in and that really make the run less enjoying.

My pace were about the same as my attempt at Standchart Run last year which took about 70+ mins. As usual, I will try to grab some good runner and match my pace with him/her. But it only work when my determination was still strong. At the ending part of the race, I kept losing my pacers :(

Anyway its still a nice run. How I wish I could find some running partners. Would be even better if I have a running team. A wish that arises in my mind since last year's run. The synergy should be great!!

Just a little reflection after the run. We should fill our life and days with energy and vibes. At the ending phase of Buddha's life, he still walks on foot from village to village over hundreds of miles across India to teach.

Keqin's wedding!

2011-02-27T07:55:00.000-08:00

Nice! Attended my ex-classmate Cherub's wedding! And this is already the second bomb for the year!! Upcoming at least got 2 more for this year and it feels just so nice! I think sharing the joy from others can be as blissful as well:)

The wedding was creatively done. First of all, the song list is nice. Not those usual wedding dinner songs that I can almost expect everytime. And the ambience was nicely set. Cherub even presented the "Best lover" medal to her hubby! hahaha!

The food's nice too! Saved the lives of innocent sharkfins in replacement with Pumpkin and Birdnest. Its equally nice and pumpkins are nutritional. Luckily the food were just right for my braced up teeth too pain even to eat a piece of chicken :P

Folks were great!! Catch up with fellow classmates and wow wow. We have teachers in pre-school, primary school, secondary, tutor and future lecturer in time to come! With $$ I think we can set up an all-rounded education centre haha! Peiyun is laterally emitting motherly love and is overflowing already. And everyone seems to be doing great in their life.

The door gifts are nice and beautiful. We can all feel the taste of Cherub from the gift selected. Met with some unexpected guest like Dominque!

Yeah last but not least to thank Meihui for the ride thru and fro dinner! Her driving skill is great and I would have gone snoring away if we never had such nice engaging chat. Found early sign of dementia and schizophenia on me sia. haha! I will try to organise more small grp gatherings lor I promise hahah!

Now looking fwd to the next one. KK is that you?? hahaha!!

Anyway why nowadays got the trend of asking the bride to sign on some contracts that sound like "eating" the hubby sia! Not fair lor haha.

梁静茹可惜不是你

2011-02-24T08:02:00.000-08:00

为何那么久了，感觉还那么熟悉。难道发生的所有只是填补未成发生过的遗憾？或许只是一个埋在心里除不去的牵挂吧。总是在不知不觉的时候，暂时侵略我的思路。世间最强的思念或许是能够在脑子里隐藏起来，似乎不会干扰生活。但想忘想放太难了。

希望你一切还好 :) 压力只在一念间。如果不想改变，就只能忍吧。

ICT in PSP coming to an end ...

2010-12-15T04:23:00.000-08:00

Finally reaching the end of my reservist!!! Really missing civilian "work". But still, its a nice ICT.

Due to some health issue, my PES status was brought down. Posted to a new platoon call PSP. Ya PSP, but nothing to do with playstation :S Personally felt uneasy to do clerical work in camp where I was previously a technician for most part of my service. And I still prefer to get my hands on the gears and nuts.

My PSP mates were nice and our PC was especially nice to us. I would say this ICT is a vacation :) There's time to work and ample time to rest.

After this ICT, I still have 9 more to go :( But i suppose I don't mind serving the rest of my army years in this platoon.

In-camp is not too irritating for me but to lead a soldier life is crazy. So, ICT to me is a timely compulsory retreat :)

Anyway downing PES does not justify my fitness! I just don't wish to spend economically efficient time running like a lab mouse...IPPT itself doesn't mean anything after all.

伴

2010-12-12T07:40:00.000-08:00

作詞：姚若龍
作曲：于曉光、李偉菘
編曲：Terence Teo

如果命運可以訂做
如果有另一次選擇
我想我還是會把手讓你緊握
快樂地陪你去坎坷

就算你有天變落魄
就算你老得不能動
我想我還是會挽著你看日落
你的心疼在淚光中

嘴巴上彼此嫌麻煩
眼神中關懷那麼滿
沒說愛卻早已認定一輩子的伴

在人前從來不浪漫
在心中卻總為對方打算
最懂的人最暖的伴

就算我以後變囉嗦
就算我老了有病痛
我想你還是會照顧我到最後
隱藏脆弱不眠不休

沒有辛酸沒有遺憾
什麼是陪伴什麼是心安你是答案

Maybe love is just as simple as that ......

The natural chemistry that grows not from temporary flame of passion.
The affirmation from each other till hairs grow white together.
Walking and sharing life together.

Standchart Marathon 2010

2010-12-11T06:35:00.000-08:00

Long awaited Standchart Marathon 2010. Again have to run alone after a last min being "fly kite" by my friend :( But relief in a way. Cuz I am a poor pacer. I get tired easily following other people's speeed.

The run was massive! Just running the 10K category has 20 000 runners. Along the journey down, whole MRT was packed with runners!! At Dhoby Guat station, its a sight to see two passage of people, one heading towards the North East line towards Sentosa and another one towards Orchard and City Hall.

The MC was good in spicing up the event at the start point. Seems like most runners are in groups making me slightly jealous!!! I think I should organise a FGS running team! hahha

Some thoughts running through my mind. People spent bombs attending motivational talks hoping to get motivated and break a new height in personal performance. I thought the best motivational event should be attending runs! Through the run, one gets energise. Get to know their body and mind better too.

Through perserverance and commitment, one breaks through the boundary of the physical body and toughen the mind. And a run does not cost more than $50!

The run is indeed massive. And I get the thrill over-taking people. Haha! I like the part when there is a long stretch of slope down the bridge.

Clock a timing of 1hr 12 mins. Never really tour the site after the run and just head home for another event!

Run for Hope 2010

2010-12-11T05:35:00.000-08:00

Day start early refreshingly for the race event "Run for Hope". It is a 6 and 10K run focus on benefiting Cancer patients, care and research.

Opt for 6K as was suppose to run with 2 friends but was not available on that day......haiz But oh well I still manage to enjoy the run!!

The route is along the beach of East Coast. Tried to run fast to prevent my face from facing the raising sun. Running under basking sunlight is nice too!! Feels very fresh and healthy. Tried to run with consistent speed but have to walk for a few part of the journey! Age is really catching up.

What I like about this run is its emphasis on charitable cause. The running tee is fully printed with sponsors! The race is also rather motivational as you can see disabled people participating the race. The demographics of the run participants come from all age range and a good mix of sexes. The main bulk are young energetic teens.

And look what I found after the run!! Sand castles!!!

2010-12-03T09:33:00.000-08:00

终于有勇气在听她嘹亮的歌声 :)

回忆是一个人最重要的，为何需要因为某些人而试着遗忘呢。没有当初的快乐与悲伤，哪来现在的彼此。与其剥夺彼此回忆的权利，不如从中更了解和包容。

最幸福的旅程应该是跟彼此心爱的人走遍人生的每一阶段吧。

2010-11-27T05:42:00.000-08:00

在茫茫人海中，没有人是谁的唯一。只有让你心甘情愿，全心付出的人。没有上天的安排。因为如果是如此，那上天撮合了无数的情侣。也拆散了多少的鸳鸯。

一个陌生人跟另一个陌生人能相遇，也并非是注定。只是时机的出现，种种条件的存在。
执着着等待和不舍放弃，因为注定的抱负，失去可能的幸福。

如果两人在看到彼此的条件，决定在一起，那就该勇敢。没有挫折的爱情，无法让彼此成长。遇到挫折，经不起考验，必定伤害彼此。

如果爱情到了劲头，也不是世界末日。只是某些让彼此在一起的条件不在了，也没好没坏。没好的因为分手一定带来不舍。没坏的因为彼此以成长了，下一站一定跟幸福更接近。

Gone with the wind...

2010-11-22T08:24:00.000-08:00

Love is something very abstract yet everyone's desire. The more you try to grasp, the more it distant itself. And when you thought you have won at last, yet it is still not really yours. A gust of wind, everything just vanish.

Yet to the one that throds the path, they never regret. A journey that leads to self discovery, a journey that teaches how to let go.

Passion is something really fragile and so unsustainable. Just when you are thinking of how much reason to love someone, next moment you might have been thinking of how much reason to prove that he is not the one. And it makes no difference whether any reason is found in the end.

Maybe a failed episode leads to a better stage next round, but how tired it is to be in and out again.

Not knowing what went wrong, makes the pain more enduring. And letting go might just be the only way to preserve what that is only yours, self-respect for oneself and her.

有人為妳偷偷在哭

2010-08-17T06:18:00.000-07:00

悲伤或许并非是一个人的痛苦。
伤心不只是因为看到别人对你的不好，
而是怪自己没资格让你快乐。

不能给的关心，
只能在距离中默默的在乎。
也许一个过路的人，
没权利参与你要走的路。
或许幸福对他而言，
就是能在允许的范围里，
带给她微笑的可能。

After Shock

2010-08-02T06:18:00.000-07:00

Nice movie outing with Children class teacher on Sunday! Caught the show "After Shock" and we are got emotionally shock! haha!

It was a show about how the survivors of the quake continue their lives and struggling with the sorrows of their families lost in the quake. Some nice moments to share!

There was this scene where the mother can only choose to rescue either the sis or the bro. In the end, just before the rescue team wana give up on the indecisive mother, the mother choose to save the bro. And the ending, there was another similar case where the mother choose to saw away her child's leg to free her and not to worsen the other victims life. I believe these decision to a mother is tough. Its akin to making a dying decision.

Sometimes in a more siblings family, some will feel that the mother was not fair or being better to the other child. But this show clearly showed that a mother would never practise favorism since all are her child. And if she can die for them she will gladly choose to. Since losing anyone is dying to her.

There is this scene where the husband choose to push her wife away and go alone to rescue the kids. I thought it was the true projection of true love. Willing to scarifice for his love ones.

The show sets you gripping your chair since the first few scenes and will knock your emotions very hard. It makes you realise the meaning of uncondition love. All this sweet nothings about loving each other will get tested when such disasters strike. All our pursue of personal interest gets crumbled with the buildings.

Large part of the show is also about the gal resenting her mum. But upon knowing the truth and seeing her old and fray mum, she was very regretful. Family is not jut a home for our bodily rest but also a place we felt save for our emotions to take refuge. There should never overnight quarrels and hatred among the members as it always hurts the most. Sometimes hatred is sustained even by misunderstanding due to not airing out our opinions.

The show end with a song "心经"by Faye Wong. I thought it suits the show really well. In understanding emptiness, we know how worldly possession gets lose very easily. By realising emptiness, reconstructions can be done and families can be rebuilt.

We learnt not seeking help from higher powers in time of need but we learn by understanding our sufferings and grow up from these sufferings. Only then we develop as a whole in a wholesome way and not relying on external factors.

Inception

2010-07-23T19:19:00.000-07:00

A terrific film for someone that prefer to do nothing and spent moments thinking of nothing! Muhaha. But this film is definitive an award winner. All the graphics, CGs, actions, story plots were really one of its kinds. Although it raises numerous questions after watching it, but I could say its the best film in explaining our subconcious world.

Some thoughts after the show. Even in our "real" life, we are constantly battling to be real. We want things our way, wanting others to accept our way and incertain sense bringing own's perceived of reality on to others, which is often impossible. The results will be in conflict with others and also our mind.

Before we sleep we want to change things to our liking, but in dream our mind did a good job in fabricating your perceived reality. The catch is, how many can be in control of their dream? Even those that claim to be in full control, their actions are driven by denial, fear and desire.

When things go bad, some chose to face it bravely. Some chose to withdraw and hide. Those that choose to withdraw, can they really be "out" of their problem? The same problem or problems stem from these primodial problems keeps hunting them.

The mind work strangely yet bluntly. When you say don't think of someone. But your mind will think of that someone. The mind seems to zoom into the subject in question and knock out all the suggestive terms like want or don't want.

Thus, my idea of a constructive thoughts are thinking about something opposite of the subject. Simply, when you want to forget an elephant, play with any other animals :) Our thoughts proliferates by intensity of the stimuli. Maybe just relaxingly or thinking of that someone will one day faint it. Just do not spend extra effort to forget which will only worsen it.

Last but not least, always bear a positive mind. A slight anger or hatred will grow in the mind. Seeing things as they really are. Things usually don't come sabotaging your life unless you invite them to. Be mindful in the change of our thoughts. We can't really stop a thought but under training, we can actually decide where the train wants to bring us. And of course, if you want happiness, liberation, attachments even to ideas can never help :)

Life after exam!!

2010-05-15T09:58:00.000-07:00

Back to blogging! Free man finally ...at least till the verdict is out on Sept....but I am more confidence the result should not give me another heart attack.

So nice! After my exam on thur, Grace organised a KTV outing!! Singing is still my best way to let out steam! I know I was screaming horribly but who cares! hahaha!! If I am good I would not be studying and working now :(

Here comes Saturday where I woke up naturally! No need alarms to wait me up for work or study! Then went for a relaxing swim. Decided to choose the early noon to go to avoid seeing my student again (So embrassing)! Its just so nice to do some tanning and tunning to nice bossanova + do some fav reading as well! Maybe can consider moving into a condo with a pool next time :P but......I will need to sacrifice the neighbourhood feel of HDB.

Meet up with the P.Park gangs finally on evening...... Mike sir say i became more skinny! Miko shared his brazillian wax feel! Ouch!! Just don't understand wats wrong with being hairy!! The Durian Puree!! So nice...!! It taste so rich!! But hor the taste does not linger in the mouth very long. Don't noe why. The taste was great! Wah time really flies and our gang know each other for some time liao! Met Miko since K1, Shuli since sec skool, Dengli since army time and Mike sir for at least 2 to 3 yrs at least! We must meet up frequently!!

Life of a city man was really growing very monotonous and boring for me.....study and work plus some volunteering.....to add more spice in life also no time. To think about the journey ahead.....if nothing changes, maybe I will die of boredom real soon.

Spirit of Zhi Char lady we can all learn :P

2010-05-09T06:16:00.000-07:00

Just when working = bad and moody days, maybe we can draw inspiration from other walks of life :) From there maybe we can re-assess what is a sucky job.

While I was waiting for my orders a "zhi Char lady" caught my eyes. Just a span of maybe 5 to 10 mins, this lady did

1) Recommendation of food to the diners.
2) Taking take-away orders.
3) Delivering the prepared food
4) Organising the orders
5) Pacifying the waiting take-aways.

and . . .

got a scolding by one of the customer till she broke into tears....
walk away for a min, back with red eyes and repeat the above tasks again.

Can clearly sees that she was "postponing" her frustration in order to keep up her service in one of the most busiest day (mothers' day).

Maybe we can just say she is in the service sector, no choice.....but when we experience complaints from our superior or colleagues, can we continue to function in such manners.

Reflecting on our SG service sector, does our reatailer have such values? Anyway that gal seems to be a "PRC". Next time we label a person PRC maybe see what we can learn than where they are from :)

Love me, Collin Raye

2010-04-09T06:20:00.000-07:00

Ain't this song beautifully composed! As beautiful as the stories goes.....A love story of two love birds. Death doesn't seems to do them apart but rather prove their deep love for each other.

How hard it is to meet someone that shares the vision, goes all out no matter what the future holds. Believing that the other will wait. Holding hands, greying together, even to the very end.....

Delegate to all my friends that wil be crossing to the next path of their life :)

If we have tomorrow...

2010-03-20T07:31:00.000-07:00

If we know tomorrow never comes by again, what will we do? Maybe we will appreciate life even better. Every second counts and every step cherished. Every praise generously given and every help to others will be spontaneous.

Then what if we know tomorrow will come? Does everything goes the opposite? So is life a gift or maybe a gift being exploited, taken for granted.

How about the tomorrow's of our love ones? What happen if we know their tomorrow might not come tomorrow? Or our tomorrow ceased to be theirs?

Who is the winner ??

2010-03-15T05:35:00.000-07:00

You can win a person by strength and you are said to be strong.
You can win a person by talks and you are said to be eloquent.
You can win a person by wits and you are said to be smart.

But if you win a person by virtue, you can be known as wise.
And someone that is wise do not mind;
losing physically, verbally, mentally for he wins the situation.

Points to take note :(

2010-03-13T00:35:00.000-08:00

Previously the Pastor saga now Jack Neo's sage! I love Singapore. There is always something to look out for :) But I thought the previous "Big" happenings in Singapore since more relevant to our lives and thus sad to say I really can't be bothered with him.

What's eye catching is the amount of news created, comments all up on forums and nowadays most vineyard chatters are on him. I even joked that Singaporean seems to pay more attention to Jack than our SG Budget release. Maybe b'coz he made Singapore "proud" once again?

Chats on him and names called upon him makes me wonder what actually is the media thinking about? What really goes through the mind of people calling him names and series of defamation. Juz caught a vid that uses his previous glamourous interview to be twisted into something so defaming! Was rather mad about it. And the information projected out from the vid was nothing educational and in fact pollutes the mind of anyone seeing it especially to the children using Facebook. I even thought of why Facebook does not synchronise such spread of information.

When seeing what's happening around us, the news and the rumors, that shows how vulnerable is the mind to gossips. It may appear harmless. But calling names to others does makes one in the light as well.

当初现在的回忆

2010-03-09T07:38:00.000-08:00

一枚戒指的誓言，一时对永远的承诺。
那在一起是为了爱情，还是为自己的选择负责？

变质的爱情是因为看得更清楚，
还是对彼此感情的坦白？

选择接受一个陌生人进入自己的世界，
是为了彼此之间的回忆，还是为了创造回忆？

如果默契都无法有结果，
那突然的爱情会更有所期待吗？

未知带来的爱情，或许带来了未知的感动。
可是是爱情创造了感动，还是感动创造了爱情？

。
。
。

填满了的杯是否已干了，还是一直都还满这？

我以为

2010-02-23T08:01:00.000-08:00

原来是否能得到对方的爱不在于

给她的爱，
给她的关怀，
给她的包容，
给她的扶持，

而是在她心目中有没有他。
无奈的他也只能充当最好的哥们。

I am expecting.....doc say it will deliver in 2.5yrs time :(

2010-02-19T07:19:00.001-08:00

Feel like a pregnant woman now! Even by swallowing my saliva makes me feel like puking! Went to the dentist today to do my upper braces and I thought it would just be the same as the lower ones. But who knows I have a metal piece on my upper jaw that points inward just like a finger irritating my throat!

Now if anyone wants to lose weight and do not want the trouble of using your fingers to induce puking, try putting on braces :) Now just hope my tongue will try its very best to accomodate this new "furniture" in my mouth coz I think I will have it in my mouth for the next 2.5yrs. Enough time to have to pregnancy :P

More "furniture" means more corners to clean too. Just tried and found out even my dental picks can not reach them. Good news comes in pairs :( Now all my four side of molar are in pain too. Merely shutting my mouth gives a slight tightness and pain sensation. A prelude to impacting wisdom tooth??

How can I enjoy bah kua and my department retreat next week ?? :(

Cheong ah!

2010-02-17T06:54:00.000-08:00

Concept of New Year is marvelous. A good way or at least a good reason to start afresh. Anyone can have a new look, new hairdo and best of all a new resolution for being better. One can argue that goals can be set anytime of the year but setting it in a new year just give a more "auspicious" drive forward.

Although we often do not set goals that will fail, but the fire for the goal often fades off rather rapidly with the celebrations. But even failure to reach the goal after a short moment is better than no goals at all.

I once read that goals have to be high and difficult so that the result is better. But that often leads to dissappointment. A goal that is too generic and easily achieveable does not give the extra leap forward. Maybe happiness and achievement is about knowing yourself and setting reasonable goals.

New year is also the best way to get in touch with friends and relatives :)

Sad SG

2010-02-14T06:36:00.000-08:00

After our reunion dinner on eve of CNY, our family met with something interesting on our way home :) Sparks up some interesting discussion after that as well.......but a rather thought provoking and sad ones.

CNY eve is the day for most chinese to have our reunion dinner where the whole family will try their very best to crowd around the steamboat for a very cosy dinner :) But we met a guy about late 20s trying to get some $ from other passenges. His excuse initially was to get $10 for transport fare but of course I turned him down reason being why you need $10 unless you want to take a cab.

Then after several rejections, he called up a friend talking about wanting to lend $100 to spend the CNY with his mum thats hungry at home. After his friend agreed, he asked us for some coins to make his way there. And we just pooled our coins together.

Interesting part is during his "begging" process, some people was in fact shunning him, being sarcastic and hurling remarks at him. And later after we alight, found from my 2 brothers (Ex police force NS) that he might have just been released from prison!

Everyone goes through rough patch before and we all want help from someone at times. But no one on the bus gave him any on our family are the only one that pooled some coins at the end for his trip.

Now where is compassion? He's action was non-abusive, rather polite and not at all persistent. And we can all feel sadness in him. He even wants our contact to return us next time. Some might say giving him is unwise as he might be a cheat. But I suppose our world has been filled with well attired cheats. Our economic system was crush just recently by institutional cheats.

It is rather saddening not because of this poor man but what has people grown to become? Being cold or rather so full of pride, not sparing a thought for the under-privilege. We are well praised for our education system but how about our basic humanity and kinship?

If indeed he was so poor, just hope he could just quickly reach home to give his mum a nice and warm reunion dinner :)

狗男女

2010-02-06T18:39:00.000-08:00

小狗狗的真挚爱情，伴侣临死的依依不舍，真让人感慨。
我们人类所向往与感动的爱情故事既然浮现在我们视为畜生的狗狗上。

想着想着，当不幸发生在我们身上时，会有同样的态度与行动吗？
或许会在滥用我们所说的理智，觉得她死了，最多叫个救伤车，
哭得凄凄惨惨，但如果跟狗狗的真挚爱情呢？那无奈的悲痛。。。

爱情当然不在于掉多少的眼泪，而是言语与行动无法表达的默契。
那最初的相遇如果建立在肌肤的渴望与爱恋，这所谓的默契会在吗？

那如果已在恋爱中的情侣，因为有了时间的彼此了解，
而发现身边的他有了无法改变的问题，是包容任命，还是选择放弃？
包容任命能够白头谐老吗？那选择放弃就能找到心议的对象吗？

佛光山新加坡成果展2010

2010-01-31T07:47:00.001-08:00

成果展2010 @ FGS has successfully brought to a close but I believe its a great way to charge up the year, with prosperity and kinship in the participants' life. The world has not really successfully buck itself up of the economic malstrom. Religion itself will prove to provide emotional support as well as gearing people towards having a more meaning life.

This annual event in FGS is one of the greatest higlight of the year where preparation alone takes up lots of time, effort and co-operations among all participants. Below are some smiles taken on the event :)

This is no scene from some charity show or large scale Chinese New Year live telecast but our very own theme for the event.

成果展 as the name suggests its a day where we showcase what we have learnt throughout the past year as well as a way to give back to the temple for the classes that had benefited us. As it usually coincides with CNY, we will make it an event to celebrate the New Year as well. 威德福海is this year's theme that ven master XinYun has given to us. It matches well to the upcoming year of the Tiger as well as the vigor we need to face upcoming challenges in life and our spiritual pursue.

This is our temple's very own Youthianz heating up the atmosphere with their jamming. They indeed spent lots of effort in this and from what I know they do not really have a teacher to lead them. From dancing and singing, this jamming really give us a surprise on how united and capable they are.

Its rather hard nowadays to expect the younger gen to celebration the traditional festival together with harmony and laughters. In FGS, it is a rather common sight and family values are an important emphasis in the temple's activity. But I do observe younger parents nowadays tend to have lesser barrier with their child and family ties seems get stronger.

Kidz in the temple are very obedient yet very smart. They dance, sing and could even do recital, not forgetting chantings and rituals as well. Would be interesting to see how these buds of our future bloom into beautiful flowers sharing their frangrance to our community.

This is our very own choir group that has been my main activities I engaged in, in the temple. All thanks to our teacher Kellyn, tuning our coarse vocals into enchanting musics as well as being our "busy" image consultant. Our glamorous outfit was her credit and the kinship was the result of our contribution towards the choir group. It is just like a small family where it injects some passion and life into our cold working life. The choir comprise of mainly working adults and its definitely very hard to get everyone together for performance.

Involving in the temple's events indeed steal personal time and sleeps for some. But I believe its all worth it. Instead of being the "loyal supporter" of the shopping malls or crouch potatoes infront of the soup operas, helping out in the temple makes the weekend more anticipating and living life with more colours and warmth.

"With regard to external factors, I don't envision any other single factor like friendship with admirable people as doing so much for a monk in training, who has not attained the heart's goal but remains intent on the unsurpassed safety from bondage. A monk who is a friend with admirable people abandons what is unskillful and develops what is skillful."

— Iti 17

Killing my loyal servants!

2010-01-23T00:27:00.000-08:00

Morning starts with heart pounding and restlessness. Unable to concentrate well due to the thought of visiting the dentist for extraction. Mind not really cluttered with fear but more like the anticipation of something thats going to happen and must happen.

Visiting my dentist at VictoriaDental, at their new branch in rivervale mall which was rather accesible from my place. But I have to say I still prefer the cosy feel at Shenton Way. Greeted by friendly staff and Dr Chye just seat me down to prepare for the "battle". The price I thought was damn cheap! Extraction, scaling and polishing just sum to about $130!! It definitely was not the market rate! But service was never discounted.

I describe the extraction as easy as cutting my toe nail. Pain was only during the administering of anesthesia but just a slight pinching feel. A trainee dentist just whole my head still while Dr Chye just use a piler to shake it out! And all I feel was slight pressure and both tooth came out consecutively.

Something struck me when I observe the process. There is a feeling of lost. A voidness that something that has been with me for life was removed. It was doing well in the mouth and it was pulled out just because my mouth need space for adjustment. Now to amplify the same feeling decorated with immense love, was that how a mum will feel when a developing and moving baby just being removed from her womb? :)

I suppose human being, a habitual animal creates attachments to anyone and anything. The feeling of lost does happen even to dead objects like the teeth. Or for me, its just a gratitude to how these 2 loyal tooth had served me well with no problems. I symbolised the profusing bleeding happening now as my mouth sobbing for the departure of their close ones.

Not a pleasant day but definitely a memorable one :) Ouching now my head is heavy. Maybe now my head is starting to feel sad too.

Debugging "Financial Freedom"

2010-01-21T03:12:00.000-08:00

Before the "debugging" process lets look at another term that people comes up with to just feel different. Financial independence is the word but I find it even harder to comprehend. Then how can we succeed base on a condition that can never happen.

To be financially independent means you no longer need to depend on money. But is it possible? Warren Buffett, a billionaire is just a man with no money if you ask him to give up every single cent he has. Anyone that still receives salary is dependent on salary and anyone that relies on investment dividends, interest or any form of revenue is still dependent on that income.

Financial freedom makes more sense. To be financially free means you have the freedom to spend when you want to. That means after taking care of all liabilities and expenses, every excess dollar is freedom for spending. That also means any possible liabilties that have the potential to incur, for example planning for a marriage.

But if financial freedom depends on amount of liabities, then the equation makes more sense if we were to control expenses and liabilities then how much we earn. Just imagine sudddenly someone received a fortune and had a million in his pocket, can we safely say the 1 million will always be 1 million? Is the 1 million going to last forever.

Financial freedom being something that is rather numerical, I see it more as a perspective or a mental state. If that man having a sudden wind fall and has a million and because having that million picks up habits like playing with sports car, he's fortune will run dry just as quickly as someone with only a $100 but spends his time lazing around.

And if simply lumping financial freedom to being able to be happy then happiness can just run dry just like spending the million. When we are a child, what makes us happy? A dollar note or just being able to have milk to satify the hunger?

How about next time when someone ask you whether you want to be financially free, try asking back what he means by financially free and has he achieve that?

Bo gehing soon :(

2010-01-15T05:19:00.000-08:00

Ouch! My dentist asked to extract 2 of my loyal precious teeth that has serve me for 25yrs!!

Even when its still there the fear sets in already :( Will I loss my appetite?? Will I be in long intense pain?? Will I loss the ability to sing or even talk!!?? Oh no!!

But seeing the change happening, I can say I can only trust the dentist. When the extraction is done, more space for movement, I believe changes will be even more obvious! Yeh!!

Now just have to prepare mentally for the day to come by!! Having a buddhist dentist is rather interesting. To remove my fear and minimise pain he told me to stay mindful throughout the process.......but he also says maybe my fear arise from being too mindful....haha

Something I believe in :)

2010-01-11T08:08:00.000-08:00

As passed down by the wise teacher, a wholesome decision made is a decision that is not selfish, ill-willed, wise and not out of fear. Satisfying all these criteria, a decision made are worthy of praise and works not just for personal happiness and gratification.

Often then not, we made decisions ranging from what clothes to wear to making life's decision and we often heard of people trusting their gut feel. But these gut feel to me is an accumulation of experience dictated by habits in how we perceive problems.

And gut feel to a pessimistic person or procrastinator will usually fall into their own habitual comfort zone, depriving them courage to step forward. Also, even upon making our mind on a well thought of decision, we procrastinated by analysing in circles.

Be brave and move forward! Dare to change and get your hand busy. If you think something is worth fighting for, brings happiness to yourself and your love ones, it is the best decision made. Worst decision can only happen when you give yourself up :)

Avatar!

2010-01-08T09:23:00.000-08:00

Great movie great companion! First time watching a movie where I can say I feel enlightening! Suspecting the director is the same "gang" as me!! muhaha. Any way here's my movie review! I give 5 popcorns out of 5!!

The first thing that strike me is upon wearing the 3D goggle the pics just jump on your face! Slight remembrance of the past where I visit the omnitheathre at Science Centre! But hmmm.....usually movie effects do not hold my interest for long. Just call me a born critics.

The first phrase that caught my eye was "You are such a baby. You never learn." We maybe the "smartest" of all sentient beings on earth but animals flee in face of danger but we create our on doom! We burn the ozone, wipe out the forest, poison our water and cuts eat others throat. Now we indeed never learn a single bit since ancient times.

The show depicts how our future world was ruled by powerful yet greedy capitalist and in order to mine a special mineral, decided to rob the forest from the natives "alien". In an unfortunate attacks from the wild animals, the lead in his avatar body infiltrate the alien "hometree". Later did the lead find himself turning from a macho Navy seal into learning how to appreciate the woods from the eyes of the native. The eyes tearing part happens when the human decided to drive their bull dozer in and later on turning their arm power in full force against the natives. The lead leads the natives in an afford to drive these "aliens" which is the humans out of the planet.

A very short intro as you need to catch the show to know how good it is. There is several scene where the seed of the holy tree will rest on the one with a true and strong heart. Thinking back, since when is the last time we ever let ourselves go and let nature embrace us.

The natives communicate with nature and animals not just by talking but also feeling them with their special probe like hair. We do not have probes sticking out but trust me, touch a dog and a cat, look into their eyes and you can feel their feelings and they will understand you too! Tried that, done that and results guaranteed.

We all have eyes that can not see the truth and ears that can not hear the truth too. All our interpersonal relationship ends up arguing due to not properly listening to what others said and feel. Words are cold and meaningless, what truely communicates are thoughts and feeling.

We humans are pathetic creatures, born and live by fear, succumbed by endless sufferings, one after another. We form countries and call ourself nations out of fear of invaders. We created weapon in fear of lossing our lives. We create drugs in fear of death. We amass wealth in fear of powerlessness. We even love and believe our beliefs out of fear. Yet in the show the best way to remove fear is to accept the environment as it is. We can only be victims to our own mind. The same mind can lead mankind to salvation and other lead to wars.

Another part that interest me is when the lead has trouble deciding which is the real world and when is he really awake. Just got a book today call "Joy of living" which says that having a troubled mind while practising mindfulness is good as someone promotes from just a living human into gaining abilities to assess and aware of his own mind. Not the exact word but is talking about inderstanding the world from inside you rather than being the prisoners of our wandering train of thoughts. If this is so, then I think most of the time we were never awake.

I also like the concept that the environment and us were all interconnected and nature knows us! If we were to harm the environment, we will one day fall prey to our ignorance.

Embracing

2010-01-01T08:22:00.000-08:00

How embracing love could be?? Does love comes only when passion arises. Then what are the source of passion?? Some fleeting good memories or some fonding characters that makes the heart go wild.

Then what are the extend of embracing. Agreeing to only what we can accept yet how about things that is dearest to your love but you can not accept. How often do we just listen to our head then lends your ears to our love, hearing their voice with our hearts. Love can at moments takes the freedom away yet can also set his love free, free to live her own life, using her own meanings and perspective for life. Only then I believe love is about embarking on a discovering journey, charting to unknown grounds, carrying love to a higher level day by day.

Then when disagreements get more by the day, cares becomes an liability, what holds a love? Memories still or just a waste to let go. Just like a cancer that threatens the life, is treatment the best way out? Love without communication, without understanding for each other and without even a common interest, is the a love to say.

Gummy night so niam ti ti!

2010-01-01T00:33:00.000-08:00

Great job gummers! We all like the Kumpung Sakara concept!! We were really puzzled at first why a temple has two place of celebration :)

I was greeted by familiar gummers right at the reception and everyone was chatting and laughing away. Here was I trying to catch hold of the friends that were coming from their previous celebrations!

We were then all assigned with a "job" to work in Sakara town but don't know why I hold 2 job!! muhahaha!! Why they never give present to most hardworking Sakara citizen :( I was a carpenter and a farmer! Reason being a farmer also needs house to stay :S Again, more mingle around with gummers as well as friends! Were asked to draw and cut out food to paste around the place and I think of just cutting a round shape for the bun!! Easy food i guess. Then we were asked to get our "Sakara town IC". Hahahahaha!!!

Performance started by song sharing my “生命中的朋友”，YAC people and a group call "Music graffti (not sure)" muhaha but all were nice. 生命中的朋友 even taught us the dance gesture hahaha!! All pointing moving around like mad!! yaya plus the YAC teaching us the gummers hand gesture!! I still know how to do leh!! Lets gum gum together.

After which, we were led to the open site outside Hall of Great Compassion. Its where the 108 bell gonging happens! The resonating sound from the big bell strike silence and peace in all of us. Everyone with their head bowed and hands on praying sign. I also lit the "wishing candles" shaped like a lotus and kneeled down infront of the giant Buddha Stattue. After the gonging we proceed to do out 88 Buddha chanting and along the way we just wish everyone happy new year!.

The chanting makes me feel old haha coz my knee can not stand kneeling for long! My knee just give way a few times. But the sound of chanting and all voices uniting in one was great!! Peace sets in and the chanting proved a great way to start the new year. As I gazed around with corner of my eyes, kids and teanager in fashion clothes were chanting! Some friends that were non buddhist I presume even bowed their heads and close their eyes throughout the session. I believe they are not sleeping :)

After paying out last respect to our teacher the Buddha we head home so physically drained! haha. Someone told me she chant till she in deep sleep. muhahhaa! And another feel like fainting! But to the deep sleep friend, don't stay up late at night and for the fainting friend, eat more red dates and gou chi zhi! Chanting shows u early health hazards hahahhaa!

Well spent new year where I laid down my goals and objective for the new year and I am holding to it dearly!! Yaya if on that night you raised your head just before the bell gonging, the clouds moved away leaving a hole for the moon to shine through and there is coloured circle surrounding the moon. Believe it as we make our way from our party area to the Main shrine, we are welcomed by gentle wind that felt like cottons on the skin and very slight drizzling that is so gentle that it just get carried around by the wind. I believe its so small that it just vapourise at the heat of our passion!

All in all I feel at peace throughout with joy just like meeting family members. I believe my words are dharmically correct since I believe we had been together in such instance for countless birth, bond so strong to be linked together life time after. As a buddhist seeing a familiar face on someone which is a total sranger is a common thing and just learn to embrace :)

Another great stride for me !!

2009-12-27T05:49:00.000-08:00

Just came back from JB teachers training!! Was a great experience and I believe all participants agreed. Really thanks, FGS Singapore, FGS Malaysia, Ven Miaoyu, Prof Bao Ru, Principle Karen and all fellow teachers for making all this possible.

The trip sets off at 25th Dec, and yes its the day straight after Xmas :) Although I have not been a good and regular volunteer yet Karen invited me for the training! Fellow participants were no strangers with just a few new faces and a great chances to know each individual teacher deeper especially volunteer teachers at Pu Ti Primary.

The first 2 days meals were all vegetarian meals provided by FGS malaysia and was really nice wor! The accomodation was also well planned and we all feel so comfortable.

Prof Bao Ru delivered a great lesson introducing us his way of running his kindergarten and his valuable case studies he met throughout his career. I believe his succes was brought about by his passion in education as well as his cheerful outlook towards life, ever so carefree yet so discpline in living his ideas.

Some valuable lessons I have gained is on the art of communications. Often then not we always unconciously forced our perceptives on others and always pressume we are doing the best for them. But I come to realise that our best may not really be the best for them, be it the kids or anyone we can across. The idea is to listen to what the kids want and always give them the chance to learn by their own ways.

He also tried his very best to give us a good introduction into high/scope strategies and now my brain was saturated with ideas I would try to enforce into my techniques. Now left the actual application. Something unexpected out from the lessons were some goal actualisation and personal development ideas that seems to be the most practical I ever heard before. Much better than those motivational talks you get by paying a few grands.

On this trip, the fun was not possible without our fellow youthful teachers, full of laughters and synergies for each other. I come to realise that in a team, we all have our speciality, characters and reasons in our voluntaring work. But coming together, we can accomplish a great deal. But like what prof Bao Ru was saying, its always not about the result but the process. And I see lights in the process now and I believe we will go far and continue to benefit kids that we had our hands lay on and people that has cross our path.

Can't wait to see the kids now!! but haiz have to wait 6 mths more before I can do anything. But yup I have promise to and will commit myself :)

2009-12-27T04:15:00.001-08:00

Thanks Esther from bringing us to Hope Church Church Christmas service. The event was done really professional and the audience really rocks the house :) There was I hoping the seats' platform does not collapse! The songs were nice and the skit was rather interesting and thought provoking. The end was done with a mass prayer as usual where the non christians were urged to the front to receive God in to their life. I would say this segment was a rather important segment :)

Comparative to other Xmas, the night was more rowdy and full of handshakes, getting to know more people and getting myself more thoughts and realisation. Realising I am old haha. Also, where is all the older people?? As for the more religious part stay tuned on to my other blog :)

I still manage to think back to one of the previous church experience in a more smaller but cosy and homely church few years ago invite by my poly classmates. If were to choose I prefer that! I am not really into the teachings since I believe I never really finish every single page of the bible. But seems like they show their faith more into studying deeper into the bible and leaving life more humbly as a christian :)

And to answer why I attempts to visit the church;

1) I am free
2) Xmas by christian should be more authentic.
3) To strengthen my "faith" haha!

Chill out session!!

2009-12-24T08:29:00.000-08:00

Have always wanted to visit a jazz pub but I find it hard to find except Hotel lounge. But ya my wish was fulfilled finally when Dengli (shoe size 3 gal) heard my cry and willing to bring us down!

The place is call Jazz @ South Bridge. Its located at the end of boat quay and separated by the river is the parliament house. The jazz music instantaneously sets my mood into a more relax manner especially when the jazz singer starts to mesmerize the audience with her light and relaxing voice. Drinks were not too pricey but strawberry boy decides to treat us :)

Had relaxing casual chats and updates from the group. All doing well except some complaints on work. Isn't it nice to have a few close friend to share our happiness and sorrows together.

生命中的朋友!

2009-12-17T08:23:00.000-08:00

Can't wait to share the experience!! Feel so young tonight :) Thanks w.s.d.p for organising tonight's music sharing by Kang Qi and group! 生命中的朋友!

Not much participants as before but was a light hearted sharing session by Kang qi and friend on their album. I can say its an album where I like ALL the songs. Something I find rather rare nowadays. The rarest part is its a collection of songs with meanings. At least it did arose me to think deeper into the meanings of the lyrics.

The rythmns are catchy and it also gives a kinda youthful campus feel. Songs are perfect for small gatherings where someone just plays the guitar and the rest just sing along. The audience is a little tense for the mood I guess. If there is a weekend noon session where "works" are thrown aside, i believe the feel will be perfect.

From the session I found the reason why I prefer buddhist songs then other commercial songs or even other religious hymns :) All songs sings about love and most songs talk about love that's inward. A love that someone gave or b'cos of someone's love. It is always about love that's directed to ourselves. Buddhist songs usually spreads the love from within to outwards. It always about caring and loving others where there is no specific others. I call in the un-conditional love generation.

Singing is not about singing it as professionally but in the most sincerest way touches the most :)

Love that is expected to get comes greed, hatred and delusion. But love that's spreading outwards with equanimity needs no designated recepients and we can just keep spreading it out, selflessly :)

Ya to add on! The little note that CH wants us to write on what we always want to tell ourselves. I didn't write any because my chinese is bad. But in mind, I just want to say, "All man are good man." or at least innately good. There is a saying, this world has more good people. Because the good will just be good but the bad willl still feel remorse for doing bad and leads them to good. Unless under unfavorable conditions, everyone just wants to make friends and utters only well wishes for each other :)

The life Book

2009-12-15T08:57:00.000-08:00

Memories seems to be just like a book. As days pass, new pages and new stories are added. Each lines tells us the path that we have walked, friends we have made, cries and laughters that has left a trail in our life. There is ups and downs, horrors, wars and romance. Some written with bold while others are in finer prints.

Usually we flip on to make new entries yet sometimes we just flip back to recall hopefully the sunny days.

But yet how good our memories would be if they really are a book. With a detailed content page, we could just flip to where we want, seeing the vivid pictures and pleasant sounds, all the colourful feelings and thoughts then we once had. The once foolish acts, has became something so distant to recall. Faces fades off and names ever so hard to recall. Forgetting the unhappy days seems to be healing the wounds but yet longing to watch once again the youthful happy days.

Maybe it feels better not to go too much into what has been written but what is to be written and those yet to be written.

People just don't learn :(

2009-12-11T19:17:00.000-08:00

Why does the people that cares the most, weep the most yet hurt the most? In no way of any rationality does that appear to be logical yet often than not its always happen :(

Is it b'cos using someone dearest to you usually appears simplier and often gets our own ways easily? Our love ones definitely would not turn our request down. But isn't that outright exploitation of trust and love? Shouldn't kinship be un-conditional or at least decorated with some form of minimal care and concern?

Does weeping when your love one is sick gives the right for future "usage". I just hope people are just getting forgetful. Coz unless I justified it as forgetfulness, any remaining reason is hypocrisy.

Or maybe people just care more for their own problems and only their own problems and desire renders the most attention.

w.s.d.p Quarter Life Crisis

2009-12-11T08:01:00.000-08:00

Nothing beat having fellow like-minded friends, pursuing the path together :) Although slightly off from what to be expected but maybe its because of expectation, some left half way when the segment on role -playing fails to hold on to the audiences attention.

I personally had gained useful insights. Quarter life crisis, as the name suggested somehow narrowed our view into topics like studies and employment but are we the one that has made assumptions before attending.

Point on the finding the FIT in life. Nothing in my family that I find I need to purposely fit in.....or maybe slightly during my growing up years. Friend maybe since sometime I just need to speak the groups' language yet in a very genuine way. I don't really find it tough since I can learn alot from talking to various walks of life. At job......hmmm....maybe after some past major falls, just have to be on my toes :)

Practising kindness I believe I am still on track since even mosquito doesn't bite me and ants tends to give way when i speak to them. Learning to forgive....hmmm....currently I still do not meet with any issue that makes me angry over a day and usually a smile will turn everything around.

As on the role play, the main point is on asking how I could contribute to a relationship instead of what to expect from others. If every member just expected to be given then there won't be someone that gives. Simple it is but often then not when facing a quarrel, our natural "firewall" just thickens. Emotions just took over logics and nothing would turn out well.

Especially on how we treat our love ones, we tend to take for granted and assume others would understand, or maybe doing something which we all think is for their good. But maybe the best policy is just to lend a listening ear as pointed out by one of the participant. The best way to let someone grow is to let someone do what they want :)

Last but no least is about having an open-mind and seeing things from different angle. With patience, I believe those that stayed behind and those that let themselves go into the role-play gained tremendous. After all, lesson learnt from others is much faster than going through ourselves. Meaning often comes at the very last moment :)

Already looking forward to next w.s.d.p session on music sharing!! Hope I could attend :)

Me a guru??

2009-12-05T17:48:00.000-08:00

Haha~!! I would say they are just generic question where any one should know if they bothers to plan where they are heading in life.

With a well thought plan, it is still hard to have an great wealth empire but you can still walk the park without having to sleep in the park!

But in Singapore with so much initiatives by government, is there a need to fear? Of course we are more comfortable on average but personal wealth is best managed personally since everyone's idea of comfortable retirement is so different.

Paying a visit to your most trusted adviser should be treated just like going for a GP annually for checkup. But having said so, day to day planning still falls back to the effort of individuals. And to do that, we have to constantly update ourselves with the necessary facts.

To me I do not fear meeting up with dodgy advisers because I always hold all financial decision to my own accountability. Advisers can only be an adviser and I would not chew on any meat served without knowing what meat is that. Rather, I have a habit of meeting up with agents as they could update me with market and product updates more readily than surfing websites due to my audio inclinations.

Have fun with the quize ...... at least it can spark some "question marks" to spur you on your quest for answer.

Mission accomplished and well done :)

2009-12-04T07:37:00.000-08:00

I felt so joyous and ever so greatful today :) My mum's condition got better!

Few weeks ago and yes jus a few weeks ago my mum was diagnoised with a growth in her head after several scans due to her frequent headache complains to her usual doctor. And indeed the growth was located jus below her skull cap pressing against the brain mass. Advice was then given from the brain specialist to remove it to minus any possible worsening of the condition fast.

Yesterday she underwent a 4hr long operation which started even earlier than we had expected. We almost freak out when we received her call that she was about to be pushed away to the operation theatre. All thanks to the nurses, we managed to send her off :)

The wait was crazily agonising. Was really lucky that we had the whole family around to chat and wild the time away. Seeing her being pushed out, we practically sprint towards her and followed her to the ICU.

She was all wired up and looks terribly tired. All of us was in tears looking at her in such state. But strange enough, she was much better and able to recognise us when we do our last visit before heading home.

Miracle happens when my bro called the ward this morning and was told my mum can already seat up and consume porridge. Previously the doctor was saying she should be able to move into ICA while the nurse thought that she might still need to stay on in ICU for 2days! But she can in fact move to the normal ward already by today!

Just back from visiting and she was recovering even much faster than expected. She can laugh and perform much more bodily effort already but still have to stay in ICU for the night due to inavailability of normal ward! Good in a way when you know she is in better hands and environment was clean. Bad as in visiting her is much more restricted and she is definitely feeling bored with no "neighbours" to make friend. I think the amount of friends and relative visited her today might have topped the chart as the most amount of visitor!

Looking forward to tomorrow's visit :) and hereby would like to thank all friend that has help me prayed for her success in operation. I believe her speed of recovery is slightly off the scientific logics and I believe its not possible without those sincerest prayers!

Operation Conquer MacRitchieR

2009-11-28T05:55:00.000-08:00

Thanks guys for attending our Operation Conquer MacRitchie Reservoir! Especially Shuli the Queen for inviting her friends that makes me feel like a book worm! I am seriously looking at a Kayaking trip wor!! haha

Thanks Soo Tee for her supply of banana to allow up close encounter with our "distant reltive", Kellyn for her fruits especially grapes for me:) , Phei Yong on her kiddy songs, ZenRong for enviromental consciousness I heard, Owyang for letting me actually see human can indeed freeze when facing fear, and everyone there for making the event so fun!!

The trips starts at about 7:30 and i think we clock each km with 1hr!!!! gosh!! The weather are good and the company is fantastic!! No one complains on the distance i think!! Ya and indeed we destroy the park's peace. Each breath was fresh and we had great time detoxing our system by sweating profusely. I also found that walking in one big group is nearly impossible and ya the team was splitted up at least into 2 along the way. Only manage to see monkeys, squirrels and Homo sapiens along the way.

The HSBC treetop walk was also visited by alot of people and we encountered jams at the start of the bridge. The bridge were abit shaky but does not poise a threat on Ms Owyang that manage to walk thru it. Also get to learn that fear of height is contributed by the height and material of the bridge :)

Kellyn was presented with Most Action-pack candidate of the day. The hike starts by her screams and running around! I think she caught the attention of everyone at the bus stop! Animals are lovely don't you think?? Kellyn you must learn to accept them into your life. W have thought of either letting the monkey catch you or we catch a ha

Shuli aka the queen showed up quite abnormally punctual and I think Kellyn loves her companion along the way!! And hey PheiYong, where did you get all these kiddy songs....let me down load leh!! if not we need you to be around on every trip liao!

JunReng!! Don't get so tense up lah! I feel tensed up also....haha but having you around is cool too! Ya, HUIMIN our dear sis that caught our moments in her camera! Don be stingy hor!! quick quick upload. No card reader is no excuse!! ppl has started to ask me for it le! But yes thanks alot to take the pictures! I am sure its well taken.

After the trip we settle our lunch along a porridge stalls along upper thomson road and its tasty!But abit "kua zhang" lah....need accountants to calculate the bills. Heng we never ask Peiling our auditor to audit it. Peiling, i believe just go for more outdoor trips and you will like mother nature!

To be close to nature is something we city dwellers need to constantly do. Imagine the things we eat, the stress we took and the quality of air we breath in. The ability to still have a healthy body is rare yet does not mean nothing will happen in future. Jus a word to fellow participants, just find a convenient park near you and have a habit to visiting it regularly! Health is never an entitlement.

Never know anyone did but i uses all my 5 senses! I see green, heard the wind, smelled the fresh air, felt the gentleness of the wind and tasted fresh fruits! And thats the best reward I had on that day :)

Scale of compassion

2009-11-26T08:09:00.000-08:00

Supposingly thought I act like a deviant but thinking thru the person I came across before, I am still rather average. Was chatting with some colleagues on what to do for company retreat and suggestions like catching prawns and fishing came into the discussion...

I was rather irritated at first and it makes no sense just for a retreat, we actually need to try have fun out of the animals' misery. But here comes some interesting observation on "scale of compassion".

Here I have some colleagues and definitely alot more thinking that fishing is great fun and is alright to kill "for recreation". On another end of the spectrum seeing people becoming a vegan instanteously. I was sort of stuck in the middle. To me, fishing is like being in a slaughter house yet I still can not give up by carnivorous inclination.

Seeing most environmental factors rather similar (age, social status, nationality and race), compassion can differ disparingly. Then what really cause the difference.

I suppose if anyone would to discover a way to turn every one into vegetarians and shows compassion and equanimty to all animals, I think that will be the proudest invention by mankind and of great benefits not just to these fellow planet inhabitants and also cleanses the blood thirsting urge of every human.

By the way, fishing with a hook and a line yet letting go after the catch is not very compassionate as well. Fate of being painfully hooked is worst than death!

Caged Doraemon

2009-11-01T23:40:00.000-08:00

Dear Humans, if you love me then don't own me and set me free. My parents told me we use to roam in the wild but instead caged by you. We don't owe our life to you and like you we have feelings and mood too. I also love my freedom.

And dear humans, if you really wish to possess me and think you are responsible enough, maybe instead of getting a newborn, why not choose some of my poor friends in SPCA.

不空过

2009-10-17T22:46:00.000-07:00

不空过。

Moments when after I have finish my volunteering or having class in FGS, and on the way home, something motivational keep going through my mind . . . . . . .

See youngsters in the train, in fashions, seems like going to have great fun again meeting up with friends. Always brings me back to my younger days where time seems to be always on my side.

Here I am, thinking back. I had great fun and is constant great fun now too. Happiness in helping to accomplish meanings behind the events. Joy in meeting like-minded people, always full of vitality and smiles even when they are physically and most likely mentally stranded.

Never do I think of what to gain but I believe I can befriend even more like-minded! Being an assistant Dharma teacher for example gave me a chance to create happiness and good thoughts for the kids to bring back to their lives! And through the process I learnt great lesson from the kidz and fellow teachers. Thats one thing I know its a happiness that last not jus an evening!

Even helping in carrying tables and chairs develops my patient, endurance, physical toning :) , and definitely trains my mind to see meanings behind circumstances.

Now then how does forcing alcohols down the throat and keeping up with "very conditoned" friendship will last? But the "effects" I think can be very lasting indeed . . .

Eye sore on twisted culture values

2009-10-09T16:23:00.000-07:00

Sighing yet puzzled by thoughts of thy individual and to the diminishing cultural values......ideas and values that guides the very vulnerablity of self respect.

Getting on and off the train as usual with packs of people yesterday night. A young couple caught the corners of my eye. The guy (looking very boyish, definitely not even 15) carassing his "girlfriend's" buttock in front of all commuters. And very obviously the girl doesn't care.

Read the papers and there was another that wear bikinis on LRT at SengKang. Now what has the world gone into. What about the traditional values of our females.

Many would say its alright, this is the new world, result from westernization. But I do not see westerners doing so. If there is, I only see them near the beaches. Even the European are refraining from kissing on the streets nowadays.

Westernization, is it a good policy to undertake, I guess not. Its diluting some of our important oriental values that identify us as asians. It is the very same values i feel makes us on par with the westerners.

Then how about self respect?? There is nothing wrong but indeed alot to say with girls that does not treasure themselves and do not mind being the mens tool for "letting go". How about the little boy?? To me, its the disresepect to her partner, not sparing a thought for her and to the rest of the world suffering with the inability to control our eyes at that moment.

Then how about gals in their 20s, 30s and 40s?? ok with intimate maneuvers? I suppose its all the same. Just that they are mature to know and choose to do so . . . . . .

Emotional Day :) Singing away

2009-09-25T19:02:00.000-07:00

At first, the day should only be our department retreat to old folks corner at Queensway but kana hijacked to do another at Assisi Hospice!

The Queensway's one I would say a well planned and organized trip. But abit too organized i guess! haha Best part is the evening trip...

Received an SMS a day before to help in a sing-along session as Assisi Hospice....Hmm....To think of it, maybe its good to face some most avoided misfortune and maybe a practical test for me to face death!

Met new yet great friends ( lotsa counselor :) ) singing along with the patients, celebrating their "LAST" mid-Autumn festival. All the helpers were great, showering genuine care towards the patient.

Met a cheerful old man that keeps trying to sing with us! Here, "trying" b'cos whenever he moves, talk and sing, excruciating pain caused him inability to sink into the festive mood.

After the celebration, we goes to sing in the ward of bedridden patients. A 18yr old young chap, requested us to sing to him. But before we could, he just passed away. We are just a min late! Time is really not a factor that could be controlled.

Then we just jump from ward to ward. Mr Bear just uses his guitars and we just sing along. The first patient to me is "acclimatization". The rest is my "whole" into the wishes, laughters and songs.

Patient after patient, I found that in face of near deaths, these patient's only request is only to hear our voices, maybe just to escape reality for mere moments, or more cheers to fight tomorrow. Some broke to tears when we sing, some gives their brightest smile when we are there. No matter the situation, we just sing.....after all, singing is the only thing we could help them.

I was still having my cough and sore throat and I fear coughing in the ward, I fear not giving my best. Silently I prayed ....... then........i think i did my best! If i were to measure, i think i have sing my best ever!!

Thanks to Heidi, I get to find meaning in singing. I found the meaning to be alive still. To share happiness and hope, and to cheers the warriors of life.

Fear is never felt when fear is just words.
Fear can never be felt when fear has been prepared in time :)

我爱你

2009-09-11T10:29:00.000-07:00

Truly loving someone is to let her flaps her wings, seeing her smiles and feeling glad when you know she is happy with her life. Although pain still inevitably lingers but at least you know your love has stood through time and test.

It is never about making your love known but having love someone. A memory that only you will cherish forever.

2009-09-04T23:58:00.000-07:00

早上的白云像棉花是的飘浮在泳池的蓝色天空。
好自在的早晨 :)

看这看这，大片的云被风吹散了。
那形成的朵朵小云，在风的吹动下，
又跟其它的小云形成了大片的云。

那过程是毫无任何的支配，
也没有预先的计划。

那分分又合合的画面，
都非常的美。

或许生处的逆境已是事实，
或许随着因缘的变化，
时间的流顺，
会有预料不到的体验 . . . . . . .

Moving on, letting go.

2009-09-04T09:53:00.000-07:00

Life's every decision making is about making sacrifices and it only differs in how painful it was. What we want and like to do is always so different from what we need and have to do.

Something just struck me and now I have to make plans, and shelf away all my dreams and interest. But this reality also make me understand "一份耕耘一份收获 ". No achievements in life comes easy and to reach your goal, we just have to do these things that are hassles.

2009-09-01T09:12:00.000-07:00

Lotsa of thing happened in just a day! Happiness, guilt, resentment and defeat. Nothing beats the defeat and its the worst of my life ever before. And I shall remember this defeat and never will it happen again . . . . . .

Now is the time to re-chart the path.

Interest Vs priority

2009-08-30T08:37:00.000-07:00

Doing what you have to do sustains your livelihood but doing what you like makes you who you are. And if you are doing something that makes you passionate, keep this lifeline of yours.

Most people live by the days but lesser live by the seconds. What would I do then if I know tomorrow has becomes a privilege :)

The human mind is a complex matter containing mixture complex of thoughts, beliefs, ideas and experience. And thus what makes one like certain things is made up of definitely more than one factors. Lesser by any, these interest would not have stayed. And thus even so is the chance to fall in love with what you are doing :0)

Drag packer series to Ethiopia!

2009-08-28T19:57:00.000-07:00

Down to w.s.d.p! Great sharing by Darryl!

Like what he had shared, exploring places with the 5 senses = Drag packer!!

Seeing the clips and his sharing, naturally I made a comparison to our dearest country SG! And its really amazing there is something to compare between a cosmopolitan city and a 3rd world.

Social developments of the society falls back deeply to the standard of literacy in the country. And it boils down to the infrastructure provided by the country, the government. Lets first go to SG.

In SG, we are proud of our "breath-taking" system. Compulsory education for all citizen and well planned education paths for citizen to "pursue" their forte. But result was a very stressful society, minimal social grace to talk about, quite higher than normal suicide rate and increasing low birth rate. Citizen all falls into career rat race, doing something not they want and not that establish spiritual development.

In Ethiopia, famous for AIDS, stray kids, poverty, drought and corrupted system. But I have been constant "disturbed" by clips showing laughing people, a student reading as he works as a cobbler, remarkable hospitality and amazingly high social grace. Darryl even commented their level of contentment to Bhutan!

Now, is there something "strange" about the social system currently in placed. I tried my best to rationalize and brought it to our constant flux of the new citizen. In SG we are proud to be in a culture "melt pot". Or maybe that's our very own SG culture ...... but then, what exactly do we want to develop into? (Mind-Bogging indeed)

P.S Keep a look up to the second episode of w.s.d.p Drag packer series :)

Gambatek!!

2009-08-26T06:55:00.000-07:00

As we jog up a steep slope, our feet feels the strand. Our heart beats harder and we keep telling ourselves to give up. Usually we just maintain our pace, not to go too fast to prevent wasting unnecessary energy. At this time we need motivations. A cheer from a friend or just a commpanion that runs with us, to tide over the crisis.

When we joy down a steep slope, we accelerates! It is these times when a little more effort goes a long way. In life, when we are at the plateau of progress, all the more we need to have all the drive, motivation and passion!

Yet when we jog faster and hasten our pace, the more we need to observe our footstep. A mistake made in one step, we fall. Isn't this so when we chase after the finest in life. A wrong step we make pave a way full of regrets.

The taste I felt today.

2009-08-22T08:59:00.000-07:00

After the spicy, bitterness and sourness turns bland, tried ways to convince myself and tries other flavors of life. Discovered the richness of coffee that never fails to be the embodiment of different facets of life, the tastes of life and how life should be faced.

Yet after such a long while, the after taste of yesterday's favorite lingers around but gives a surprising sweetness and a mellow taste of freedom. Maybe the greatest taste is meant to be appreciate and remembered but never to have it stubbornly. And at least I found the purest of taste of my original pursue. The taste I believe will never fade . . . . . . .

Union of two individuals

2009-08-15T18:55:00.000-07:00

People says marriage is frightening. It means tomb for relationship, freedom and individuality. Things that we do by ourselves, we make our own decisions, now a "stranger" might jeopardize the plans.

The guys might say, "My wife, she always nag, scold the kids, picky, irrational and has a very short temper. Never see things from my shoe."

The women will say, " My husband, good for nothing. Never help in the household chores. Always so passive, can not even arrange for the utility bills. Never see things from my shoe."

But he or she should be the one that makes you crazy over with.

To me, be in mind that all mentioned above can happen! But isn't these things that creates color to your life? Occasional bickering is normal as marriage is the union of two different person from different background, families, history and two different world. And since the vow has been made, discover the next part of the life together. Its definitely a whole new chapter, but with considerations and right amount of sensitivity, I suppose the new chapter can only be better.

In these diversfied world containing trillions of people, living at different parts of the world. For them to come together and walks the remaining path together, entrancing the past and aging together. Isn't that the rarest thing on earth :)

Best weapon on earth!

2009-08-15T09:08:00.000-07:00

Nothing is more powerful than the thought of gratitude even if its just a slight moment!

It can end a war.
It can end any fight or maybe there would never be fight.
It gives hope.
It provides motivation to move on.
It makes you recall how to cry.
It makes you cherish what you have.
It makes friends.
It can only allow progression on mankind, be it social or scientific development.

Last but not least.....
It gives you reason to wear a smile in any moment :)

TGIF

2009-08-14T09:24:00.000-07:00

Typical weekends for city dwellers is to ....laze around. And ya in fact I get to know someone that makes me feel so strange yet common.

This lady's saturday do not wish to wake up early b'cos its weekend!! Then Sunday evening do not go out b'cos Monday need to work!!.......so effectively instead of the 48hrs of free time...she's left with about 36hrs inclusive of the normal human 7 hrs of sleep!! Weekends to her is an anticipation yet a sorrow.

Lazing around on weekends to me just feel so fleeting and waste of TIME! muahhaha......

My every Saturday date!!

2009-08-08T09:42:00.000-07:00

Interacting with a person, I get to learn his experience and character. They will also be a mirror for my reflection . . . . . . then I have 10 ~20 mirror to look at every Saturday night!! How can I not grow :)

Life has really been so kind to me :)

Nice hobby of mine :)

2009-08-08T00:00:00.000-07:00

Do I born to like sensual pleasures or just because I yearn for comforts of life.

I like the pool, sea, breeze and the sun! It feels so good to just think of nothing, laze under the sun and plug in to some light jazz or bossanova. In the evenings, nothing beats having a few close friends, chatting away under the sound of sea breeze. Life is just perfect!

I am not those buff up hunks or any pale chicken that wants to cook themselves raw under the scorching sun.....but I just like being pampered by the sunlight , feeling life in every little bits of cells on my skin.

Its the most ideal way to spend my weekends, and to charged up myself to face the challenges that coming my way!

But life is strange! Almost none of my friends like or at least do all this with me :( How I wish I could find someone that cherishes life every single moments and celebrates the start of everyday :)

2009-08-01T00:05:00.000-07:00

Got some free vege lunch voucher and there we go enjoy our peaceful and detoxifying time at Renci Community hospital.

https://cid-bed70e5f825aebe6.skydrive.live.com/play.aspx/Renci%20Community%20Hospital?ref=1

No signs from the monk's saga but rather a very great bazaar in front of my eyes. I think I reach there about 9am and still have to squeeze around to patron the stalls. Everyone wears a smile wor!! haha. Quite alot of things caught my not that big eyes.

Monks are there helping out. There is no sectorial differences and you see their "in-house" resident monk as well as monks probably from Sri Lanka...... They serve with sincerity and even call out to the patrons and crowds.

There a some youth taking the band performance.....not a very perfect performance but wow they did well for the occasion.

The stalls are run by their study groups and I suppose quite a few external vendors too! Their youths from Fo Hai Chan Si was there to with their stalls selling bathing products in a very cheap rate! They are cheaper when I was shopping at other place and happen to see the same product. Not just that.....running the stall is only a fraction, the rest of the youths are clearing tables.

They just uses their eagle like sharp eyes on the tables and as long someone leave the table, they will clean it up.....!! With their cloths and hand. Now who says the youngs are pampered!! They are just doing it as a duty........!!

Buddhism is not about the temple and the monk only. And if you are trying to assess the monks cultivation, look at his followers :)

Accent of money

2009-07-24T11:07:00.000-07:00

Catch it in my company where our MD highly recommended us to watch.....After all, we are in the frontline of $$.

Previously saw the ad on Business Times and the review was good. Finally my turn to lay my eyes on the film with anticipation. The video has a wide coverage from history to some of the more upbeat details of the financial crisis. Watch a few clips on how this current financial crisis came about and I would say not very easy to understand if your do not know the $$ language well. But to me it paints a rather in depth picture on how this crisis begin. I came across a flash animation before in facebook that I think is definitely much suitable for laymen to feel impressed.

After viewing, I have grow to understand the magnitude of the crisis and I would say results from multiple episodes of greed and temptation. It is the man's continuous pursue of financial well-being and the futile rationalization of human wisdom against the ever changing financial situations. One greediness and stupidity leads over to another. Something remarkable is during an interview with the "Master of Hedge funds", Feruguson was asking for a professional hedge fund manager do they use their intuition to make decisive calls that's usually millions of client's fortune. The answer was largely intuition. Now, how does anyone feels comfortable to invest in someone that say "I feel that this stock will rally".

Its a good video to anyone that wants to have a more clearer picture of what they think they are smart at.

Life's a marathon

2009-07-22T06:21:00.001-07:00

Life is a marathon.
The one who starts first might not be better.
The one that performs better now might not be better.
But the one that enjoys the race emerges the victor.

Reasons that will spur me on!

2009-07-17T19:12:00.000-07:00

School days with a pig!

2009-07-16T09:09:00.000-07:00

Went down for the biweekly session by w.s.d.p .

Its about a story of a teacher that wish his Grade 6 students to understand life. He brought a pig to school and told the kids they will rear this pig up and kill it for pork!

As time goes by, the kids established friendship with P'chan and having lotsa happy moments together. Nearing the end of their graduation, they are made to whether let P'chan be taken care by the grade 3s or sent him to the butchery.

The teacher made the final decision and poor P'chan becomes pork.....haha As from the speaker, its not the best movie to talk about compassion. But i managed to grab some lessons out of it and my friend cried on the screening.....

- Let kids decide what they want is a great way to learn responsibility. After all looking back, who grew up without falling??
- Animals like human, we all fear death and pain.
- Kidz can learn a great deal from the nature and nature always never fails to be the best teacher.
- Solving a problem by pushing the problem to under people is irresponsibility.
- Pig is smarter than dogs and they have the intelligent equivalent to a 3yr old!!
- If we don't eat up our cats and dogs, then what justify our carnivorous desire......
- Best time to learn compassion is from young and best place is with nature.
- Who decides how long a person or an animal lives?
- By saying, pigs live to be eaten. What are we now alive for??
- Last but not list, pigs eat damn non stop but they are not lazy fellows! They are just adorable!!

Meditating my way away

2009-07-14T08:48:00.000-07:00

Found that meditation is the only way round. Just settle my mind on an object and focus. With a well concentrated mind effort, my mind actually feels more free and at peace.

Tried listening to various genre of songs, went for a swim, busying with daily task.....non beats the few minutes of meditation just before sleep.

Don't know how I should feel.

2009-07-13T06:50:00.000-07:00

Felt like reaching a cross road. Some told me to fight on. Some told me to see the situation and some told me to go for an answer. But what is truly the advice I would give myself??

2009-07-10T09:57:00.000-07:00

There is 2 moments in all girls life when they will be the prettiest . . .

One is in wedding gown while the other is carrying a new life in them :)

Why am I physically in pain too??

2009-07-06T06:58:00.000-07:00

How many times have I tell you not to get caught in the quicksand?! You should know your primary intention why you are here!! And why things like this still happens?! And because of your foolishness.......you are in such great pain! You deserve it!

Now I am only giving you a weeks time! Nothing more . . . . . .Wake up your idea!!

Rubberband theory

2009-07-04T19:27:00.000-07:00

Pple's feelings and desires are just like rubber band.....the more you avoid, the recoil comes back more intensively. There you are isolating yourselves from the source of desire, mind since to settle down. Yet when you get close, things just get back to you double strength.

The worst enemy in the battle is always those that you have little knowledge of....and yet that applies to LOVE too. Its rather strange and feelings get intense when you do not know the source of your desire . . .

The Greatest Love of All

2009-07-03T09:14:00.000-07:00

Love makes one fall, despair, anger, lamentation and disillusioned . . . . . . .
Yet love makes one stand and strive to become better . . . . . . .
The greatest source of inspiration, motivation and drive in this world.

Labeling & prejudices

2009-07-02T09:25:00.000-07:00

Like it or not, perceptions just keep going in and out of our brains very split secs. And a lot of times we label people based on our perceptions. And before you know it, you just naturally labeled someone.

There was a picture showing a wide, blue sea surrounding some islands. Then there was a speed boat going towards the Island. Most of us feels that the place look relax and serene and how we wish we were on the boat. Yet some one says the boat was a disturbance to the picture.

Sometimes, when I advise people of their prejudices or biases against someone. Yet I am actually labeling them as well. We also labels ourselves. Being busy with my schedule I feel i am the busiest and others don't understand. But how about we understanding ourselves and just be more kind to them.

We are often moved around by whats to be expected of us and in fact more frequently we expect more of ourselves. Both things just does not work well on the extremes. Its no use to stop labeling totally and its hard to attain. But I suppose is to label things in other people shoe . . . . . .

w.s.d.p trip !

2009-07-02T09:11:00.000-07:00

Stop going down to w.s.d.p quite sometime due to some personal and not very personal issues that bog up my time. Tonight's topic was a real bargain as they engaged an NLP trained personal coach to share us on topic "Knowing Your Identity in Crisis."

I was expecting it to be some crisis management talk or something to do with the financial crisis. Yet in fact the speaker share with us techniques and importance of understanding ourselves. Not really into Buddhism this time round but benefited a lot.

One point he shared is having Self Time, Self Space and Self Awareness. To me its not something new but he sort of logicalized it. I often have the habit of after doing something routine over a period of time, then I will find a moment be with myself ONLY and assess my current situations. It could be my career, my studies, my personal or spiritual growth.

I find it rather important as I see most of my friends getting too busy at weekdays, bring work back home yet still works very hard for the groups and clubs on weekends. Nothing wrong with having a fulfilling life and making full use of time. But have we rest enough to go further. Its not about Holidays but just intermittent breaks in between weeks or days.

If we use the concept of "live life once", I would say "live it to the fullest and live it happily."

Earth Songs

2009-06-27T20:40:00.000-07:00

Hijacking M.Jackson's "Earth Song". It gives me goosebumps again. But something to ponder on.

World is today because each of us wants to create a world that we want it to be selfishly. Eons of battle fought to claim racial superiority, gain happiness that snatches others away. We all struggled to claim "ours".

But what happen to the "ours" when we pass away, landing the world into more irreversible destruction and definitely more sorrows.

A very familiar tone of "I can't sleep without air-con" becomes the familiar tone of "I can't survive with this climate" of our VERY NEAR dearest future generations.

World leaders now rallied to save mother earth to salvage the "still reversible" conditions but chained with conditions like profits.

World I believe could only sink deeper and deeper unless countries and nations' boundaries are removed and we are unitedly call earthlings! But will we ever live to see the day?.......or we just continue to consume and create a world class craft that bring us away from this "damned" place and start cursing another one......sound really like a typical VIRUS!

疲惫普通的一天

2009-06-25T06:26:00.000-07:00

刚下了班，寂寞又疲惫的穿梭在人群中。
仿佛像其他的木头人，毫无表情与思想的走着。

但有时却好享受这与自己相处的时刻。
不需要伪装，不需要做任何不想做的。
暂时不去想要追求的，或要逃避的。
发现到坦诚对待别人比面对自己来得自然。

想起最近朋友问我为何坚持着不可能的。
或许着也算是对自己的了解，单纯的感觉吧。

打开电脑上网，第一间是就是看MSN。
这我相信是现代人的习惯。
看着与盼着那最想接近的远距离

可惜你不在

2009-06-24T07:47:00.000-07:00

难道爱上的只是幻影，从不存在。。。

Fathers' Day

2009-06-21T06:38:00.000-07:00

Woke up with terrible headaches again but that has not down my mood for the day! My Karaoke competition in the temple! But something touching happens before that. . . surprisingly touching . . .

The whole event was keep on "Top secret" and the shifu just say its going to be a surprise. We just need to bring our father!

My day did not attend due to work commitment...and tat lucky...if not I'll be crying like mad!
The kids were made to kneel before their father and to serve tea! The moment the kids kneel down. I think the fathers were dumbfolded. Then the kids were asked to WASH their dads feet. I think this moment all dad cried, hugging their kids.....even the spectators, mums and whoever...all were touched by the scene.

The guy species we thought to be brave and the protector of the family. Thus since young we were told not to cry and through the years, we have forgot how to cry. Or even lost the meaning to cry. Most traditional Dad tend to have difficulty showing their care and love and thus delayed to say "I love you" to their kids. Dad being more experienced to the realty of society often seek to reprimand their kids and the kids often fail to see the reason behind.

Kids on the other hand, seeing their mum more than their dads tends to be closer to their mums. Kids also tend to delayed their "I love you". And true enough, being a kid myself....I am still pondering when or whether this words will come out from me . . .

Recently . . .

2009-06-19T09:57:00.000-07:00

Starting of a new period of busy schedules again . . . . . difference is that the end seems unpredictable. Work has been fortunately increasing gradually but comparatively higher responsibilities. Just hope i can increase my efficiency as fast. Its a real blessing to work with caring and supportive management.

Life undergoing some changes as well. Risky but I know its worth it. Its going to a long and painful journey. And b'cos of this decision, a lot of sacrifices have to be made......might just have to give up on my pastime.....haiz.....

Skool starting next month and as from the tentative timetable, lesser time under my control. Again, there goes more dearest sacrifices. A valuable lesson from previous yr, I really need more than a 100% focus!

Did some thinking and had some session with fellow Dharma friends. Maybe its time to fine tune my directions and perspectives.

Life is fun as usual enjoying scenaries along the way, abit of the regular emotional roller coaster but sanity under check. Just have to bear with the occassional loneliness . . .

My sis's wedding

2009-06-15T08:15:00.000-07:00

Hmm...hmm.......just back in SG hours ago. Went to Tg Pinang Bintan for my dearest sis's wedding. She looks marvelous on her big day. I suppose all gals look the best on theirs.

This sis was someone real special. Almost half of my childhood was in belief that she was my real sis that somehow got trap in a far foreign country. haha....remember our younger day together, she so bubbly and noisy and gets all hype out when we visited her in those days.

She grew up into someone very mature and shy yet very confident in handling her life. On the wedding dinner...she jus cried whenever we talk to her. I suppose the tonnes of memories are shown in those tears of hers. That day, my little sis have grown into a beautiful maiden, carry on her journey, her happiness.

Wishes all the best and have a blissful life ever after.

How small I am.

2009-06-15T08:06:00.000-07:00

I like watching the sea . . . how vast it can be.
I like watching the clouds . . . to see how tiny we are.

Taken this inspiring pics of a the cabin of my ferry to Bintan. Indeed we are very tiny when we stand with nature but we carry the most worries.

Life struggles for fame and greatness seems so redundant once you see that the majestic clouds, always so high up overlooking the land. Blends so well with nature yet does not fight to stand out. It just moves and shapes as the wind blows . . .

Burn!

2009-06-08T07:25:00.000-07:00

A person that lost the burning desire
Just like a phoenix that losses her flame.

Its is not about greed and desire
Its the passion for life, for what we believe in.

Keeping a positive mindset might not let you achieve
Having a negative mindset gives you no reason to continue.

We all have a fair share of difficulties and trouble
or even if someone is more unfortunate than others
yet victory can happen only to those that persevere on.

Not letting oneself down,
Not letting dearest one down,
Not letting life down!!

Headache sia!! Terrible!

2009-06-07T09:07:00.000-07:00

Whole day headache sia! Terrible. Just had a slight fever on Saturday and developed into a full scale headache on Sunday.

But strange enough to be able to be in the usual happy and energetic self. After some vocal training, went down to Kellyn's house for our gathering. Enjoyed the night with great companionship and bonding. Drank a little beer and downed my mood a bit. Seems that beer indeed sets me into a more negative self. But I believe my mood fluctuation are definitely swayed by a larger emotional stimulant.

Rather confirmed on the cause of the stimulant but yet its strange that I can not jus remove but moving closer to it day by day.

Tug - O - War

2009-06-04T10:07:00.000-07:00

( One day, Ms Cat saw Mr Dog and out of goodwill gave him a bone.)

Ms Cat: Nah. Bone for you. I know you are hungry. Meow!

Mr Dog: Hoof! I don't want and don't like.

Ms Cat: But . . . . . . all dogs like bone. Come take it you will love it. Its good for you.

Mr Dog: Because . . . . . .I have started to like fish.

Be happy :)

2009-06-03T09:54:00.000-07:00

Whats happiness . . .

Happiness can be as simple as a kid upon receiving his candy. But happiness is often clouded by cravings for belonging, owning, control, power, fame, attention or even happiness itself.

To me happiness is about having a light mind. A mind free from burden, guilt, sorrow, hatred, delusion and tiredness. Yet also a mind free from happiness, expectation, result, performance and praises. A light mind just like a serene lake. A mind that is capable to observe itself.

And to achieve a light mind, just learn to let go with extras and pick up when there is a need to. A light mind to me can also be achieve by being with nature, listen to them, smell them, taste them and feel them. Looking at nature I get to remember the initial me.

Departures

2009-06-02T09:05:00.001-07:00

Caught this movie in FGS . . . not the best plot I expected from a Jap production but an interesting one that looks at a more unconventional way to look at death. I am quite fascinated at how they treat the corpse with respect.

But what really caught my thoughts was a common scenario is all deaths....even to real life....the sorrows and grief for the departed. Almost all shows how they have neglected the departed ones and how they used to fight with each other. Then after one dies, the other feels the lost.

I suppose we took a lot of things for granted, especially our parents, be it genuine insensitivity or purposeful cold shoulder. Might be the restriction, pain and screams we gotten in the past which cause an imaginary wall between you and them. Only harsh words and indifference are exchanged.

Its not about who's right and who's in the wrong, yet one thing is for sure. You are going to miss each other a lot if one moves on. What's remaining are just photos that have been forgotten but successfully caught the happiest moment with them.

Sianz nor here nor there

2009-05-30T08:59:00.000-07:00

Lotsa decision making to do. Sometimes just for a few seconds of thought, just wish not to care about everything anything.

Seems like problems come in cycles too be it personal and be it others....But still my logically tuned brain tells me to faced it, if not things will just snow ball. Escape just retards the process. Lotsa commitments too....just signal the green light, I know it all have to be all the way.

Had a nice chat with a very close friend. Learn a lot and through her I see the word success and responsibility. I asked her, "how do you keep going." She just say its a habit. Maybe its really a habit. A habit to take up responsibility and put your name on stake. And something remarkable is she never thinks of the possible rewards and need no rewards. There is no carrot yet she goes on, so strong so calm.

I've been gathering data from most people I meet. The formula to success the formula to perseverance. I think I have too comfortable a life and love ones are just always around supporting me.

I suppose now is to get all intention right and gear up with whatever confidence I have. Things that need to be done just have to be done. And I know I will grow. Putting down the past shackles and charge!

Bickering and gentle words!

2009-05-29T21:09:00.000-07:00

Art to communication is to open your mouth using the correct word, to the correct person, at the correct time and correct situation. Swing to the extremes don't work! Too responsive and sensitivity will only breed long lasting quarrels and bitters. Too passive and suppressiveness leads to current peace and future magnified problems.

I am not the most suitable communicator but I prefer to listen before I say. That's why I have 2 prominent ears and one mouth. Bringing your point across is not about who's the winner but try to deal with the problem. But definitely not on problems that have past and problems that have yet to come.

Quarrels can be good. Its time to readjust mutual differences and expectation but do it when the situation requires as any strongholds can not withstand constant shocks. Relationship consist of both partners working hard for common goals. The strength for each other and the pillars for each other.

生命是无法替代的职业

2009-05-26T09:06:00.000-07:00

生命是无法替代的职业。
在快乐时，没人能抢走。
在悲伤时，没人能代受。

咕咕落地，生命的第一刻。
牵着负着，生命的第一步。
跌倒哭了，生命的第一课。

生命的事业中还有更多的第一。
第一本书，第一个想要。
第一个承诺，一生爱的奉献。

但所有的第一，接着是无法挽回的时光。
在世的一切，棺木一概，不留痕迹。
留下的是美好与遗憾。

勇敢的接受生命，体会生命，感受生命。
生命就少几分遗憾，多几分的期待快乐。

2009-05-16T21:28:00.000-07:00

The curtain has been drawn and does everything ends as well. Life is always full of conflicting views . . .

Quizzes to know you or me??

2009-05-16T07:45:00.000-07:00

While preparing for my papers, every time-breaks now and then I'll log in to facebook and attempts the quizzes. And i see lotsa pals doing that too. . .i wonder . . .

I suppose most pple attempted IQ test before but personality test, how reliable could it be since it can never be effectively quantized. Then why do we take it?

Is it for after taking it to publish for everyone to see or to let us know ourselves better. If its for others to see, are we still faking a front? Its just what we are used to do in day times. Something we are all experts in doing. Isn't it?

If its for ourselves, to befriend ourselves, then who are we befriending and who are we looking for. To look for the dimes in the sands or looking for the real self in front of the mirror.

Who decides and who follows? Or is it who to decide . . .

Happy Vesak!

2009-05-14T04:47:00.000-07:00

Another year of fruitful Vesak went by. To me, celebrating Vesak is not about identifying myself as a Buddhist but to let more people know what being a Buddhist is about. Behind all the celebrations and cheers, comes doing your part as a Buddhist to spread peace and confidence to people's life.
Vesak is about celebrating the coming of a boy that shed the light of truth to this world. Although as years passed, this day of tranquility and peace has been decorated with more basking activities and ritual, the heart to spread the teaching never dies. Its about using methods for deliverance on different people from different walks of life.

This year, I could see there is more crowd but is that a reflection of the growing followers or a snap shot of suffe ring in today's world.

Temple compound has created a good stage for wannabes to hone their skills and performance. And through the spirit of giving we carry back with more faith yet more experience that will help us in our lifes. After all, Buddhism is about us and Vesak is about us too.

People often wonders why do we busy ourselves so much with these events, but why not asking them why busy ourselves over activities by meeting people that don't need us, doing things that only satisfy the fleeting moments. We all have 24hrs, but its on how to use it that determines the future . . .

Being a youth, we have nothing. No experience no money, what we have is energy.

Religion is about the identifying sacred from the profane. But Buddhism I feel is for everything. After all what dictates sacred and profane . . .

The ending of Vesak ends the day but not Vesak. Spirit of Vesak should be in our mind everyday, every action and everything ways of life.

Felt really close . . . yet too afraid to move on . . .

2009-05-11T01:54:00.000-07:00

Felt so close at times....
Yet at times there's still some unspoken barrier,
Sometime I wonder am I just a step away,
or am I no where near.

That day, that word, that someone...
is that a word with purpose,
or its just doesn't mean a thing.

If it's on purpose, then...
is that a test of reaction,
or its just an excuse for the closet.

I feel I am making progress,
but yet never for once I desire a perfect ending.
now where does the problem lies...

So refreshing . . .

2009-04-30T07:13:00.000-07:00

After my normal evening run today, felt at peace with myself. Close my eyes opened my ears, felt the wind brushes through my skin. Distantly heard the chirping of the birds, sounds so marvelous and interesting. The world seems to speak to me, so gently yet full of details.

Spend time to slow down your pace, cause there is too much great things to embrace and to catch our notice. Life is great!

走下去

2009-04-30T07:03:00.000-07:00

一句小小的问候，最真心的爱语
一句爱人的肯定，胜过任何的称赞
时不时的我爱你，让多艰难的路走得开心，走得甜蜜，走得无怨无悔。。。

Something to add on!

2009-04-28T08:51:00.000-07:00

There's a saying by someone reputable . . . Someone that lacks responsibility in doing something, no matter how small the importance is, he tends to be irresponsibility in handling most things too.

Responsibility is not just about making sure things are done rightly. Its about doing the right things, but what is the right thing. I suppose all boils down on personal integrity and standards towards oneself.

We all have an average life span of 80 per say. But failing to be responsible just to themselves leaves regrets. Calculative personality also turns people off. They are responsible but only to them selves. The last group of people are those that are energy powerhouse, helping anyone in need but never stop to listen to them selves. Responsible to others but not to thyself. All creates an unwholesome character.

How about just starting to be responsible to every day spent?

Discounted life of the pathetic souls

2009-04-27T09:46:00.000-07:00

Since life is full of hardship,

I shall just study what that is easiest to get a job.
I shall just settle for any job.
I shall just be quiet in a group.
I shall just pick any girl on the street.
I shall just settle down, get a house and live happily ever-after.

But does it work this way . . .
Then why are you still alive . . .

Life doesn't happen by chance and it lives by choice.
Sometime to make a choice it involves not jus me.
Sometime not to make a choice is a choice.

Failure to make a timely choice is failure before a wrong choice.

To me, being honest to myself is the choice I have chose to lead my life.
May it be pain or happiness, may it be hard to achieve
At least I know what I want and I hold my words.
At least I know what I like . . .

If A Picture Paints A Thousand Words

2009-04-24T08:21:00.000-07:00

Long long time ago, there was a little duck with a twist of fate, grows up in an eagle nest. Mother eagle and all the little eagles grows up healthily sharing lots of happy moments together. Little duck finds no problem living with the eagles and indeed behaves a lot like little eagles. Life was great.

One day mother eagle tells little duck the truth. Little duck seeing the difference in appearance with the little eagles accepted what mother eagle has said. Yet little duck still reluctant to accept his fate. He knows one day he will be able to fly too.

Unknowingly as time passes, little duck falls in love with little eagle. Bearing in mind their difference, little duck do all his best to keep his distance. But no matter how hard, he still likes the sky and still loves little eagle.

Days pass and little eagle grows into a magnificent eagle taking the sky under her wings. Little duck grows up too and had trained up with a pair of stronger than normal wings. As he flaps hard, he managed to take off but still does not last a few metres.

One day, little eagle while playing with little duck, fell into the water. Not stopping to think for a moment little duck jumps in to save her. Both were fine, but little duck found his world in the water. He began to like the peaceful lakes and stop thinking of the sky that's ever so high.

Little duck began to see the picture. He knows that an eagle is always an eagle. Eagles belong to the sky while he belongs to the lake. Watching from far, little duck starts to leave the world of his beloved little eagle. He only knows one thing.

To love is to let her fly. Fly to where the future holds. Little duck, never regretted or feels sad anymore for he knows the place he can never reach, little eagle has been there for him. All he wish for is to paddle in his world wishing to see little eagle spreads her wings in the sky.