洋葱

Been 2 weeks le! Great great!! I believe I can kick the habit!!.......I know its getting stronger but I can do it! Next week is the challenge!!

Back from CNY!

I'm back!! Had great fun on my CNY trip to Tanjung Pinang although it is just a short one. The atmosphere and warmth there was fantastic. The Chinese there are closely bonded as I believed due to them as the minority in population.

Never get to eat my CNY fish but get to light the fireworkers! Also went to their pub but was not very happening as according to them is due to weekdays. As usual, everything is crazily cheap priced but I find their beers more diluted too.

Went to visit our 师公 and found that he has problem moving around already. Maybe thats the reason we are fortunate to bump into him...His temple is more elaborated now as they are closing to grand opening. From what I saw there is two new pavillion, more wall decor plus vast extension to their farm.

Also manage to went to another temple which is situated more in the rural area and they are still under construction. Never get to see any monastic there as I believe the place is still far from completion. Wats majestic is the 500 luo hans still caged up lining the parameters. A real sight to behold. Heard this temple was built by Singaporean!

During the evenings, we went to their ge tai (they have alot of getai) there. Not like Singapore, they are there every day and anyone is free to take the mic! The host cum singer tat night was very entertaining. I believe she's likely to be younger than me but was singing non stop with dedications from the floor, mainly hokkien songs lah. But she was totally conversing in teochew(which I believe is the major dialect group there). Teochew sounds very refine and courteous lor!! hahaha Different from those in Singapore as ours are mixed with Hokkien already. I aspire to learn the correct version!!

Drinking and drinking non stop with "entertainment" from our cousin's friends. One of them peformed by drinking beer using no hands and only mouth biting the mug. Everything is down in less than 5 sec!! They are jokingly saying he drinks slower with hand. As heard from our cousin they are all ex "ah bengs" hahaha...but i see them more matured as they are settled with family.

I find that guys there is less academically well educated but they have high integrity and responisbility. They tend to start a family at very young age. They are also prone to believe that its good to marry early to settle themsleves down so as to excel in their career.

Gals there are also more refine.....as in no badwords. More shy as well and they are less materialistic too! Funny thing is the people there seems to be connected somehow in their family. Just talk to them and you find they are kids of what uncle down town.

Should be going down again in May as we forsee one of my close cousin is getting married!! hahaha....yar its a great event to held marriage there. My cousin's wedding few months ago...the guest list was 500 but the turnout was 1000!!. In Singapore, you are considered very influential if you have a 500 i think!!

1st day of CNY

First day of CNY and first stop is to my grandma's house! That was kind of a norm practice every year since we just moved out when I am very very young. To say, that house has left behind some memories of my childhood. In fact I would say I have not much left and this house was the few could invoke some of my long forgotten memories.

Today, it was the first time I saw my grandma cried. It was not those tearful kind but brings with it some regrets and agony. My auntie had came to visit her and happened to talk about their past memories. The anguish feeling kicks in when grandma talked about how her siblings has passed away one by one. She too had lived a lonely life being a widow for nearly 30yrs.

It is definitely not a good feel when one day I know people around me will leave me one by one. The only think that is left are just memories. And often then not, memories does not work when I want them to.

I am just thinking, how would I be when I have reached this stage. Would I have more regrets or fond memories? Even if it is so, these fond memories would only leave behind loneliness and helplessness.

I suppose death is inevitable and since this is so, more should we show care and concern to people around us. We could never tell when we will leave them or they leaving us. Our tireless pursuing of our material happiness could never replace the regret of wanting to spend more time with our love ones when they one day passed away . . .

隐形的翅膀

在这步伐超快的现今社会，每天都是挑战。
未来局势更是一次比一次的复杂无常。
我们的信心也经常的接受考研。

我决得每个人都有双隐形的翅膀。
不需到远处寻觅，或向名师指点。
我们都有双可靠能依赖的隐形翅膀。

当我面对逆境时，
只要闭上双眼，
就能叫出这可靠的翅膀。
这翅膀并非能给我财富或暂时的逃避。
但能给我无比无限的力量。

我并非需要跟他人比较，
也并非需要羡慕他人的幸福。
我只要知道还有什么能奉献。

希望每个人都能找到他们的可靠翅膀。

Indo here I come!

Great!! Few more days and I'm out of this stressful place. Long anticipated trip sia . . .

Greed

"President-elect Barack Obama Thursday said the nation's current economic crisis was not the result of chance but the result of greed."

Indeed, the everyday increasingly downward spiral of economic crisis is caused by greed. Greed drives grads to join the society as a banker. Greed drives the banks for profits and market share. Greed then caused the banker to resort to unethical measures to secure the business. Greed also blinded the investors in hope for high returns.

Result from these greed contribute to the crisis that leads to bank closing down and high unemployment rate throughout the globe. The once greedy banker lost their bowl. They don't just lost themselves but also lost the livelihood of people throughout the world.

Desire to achieve and desire to reach the highest possible I would says are dreams of everyone. It is very hard to not to desire for we are living in the era of consumerism. But uncontrolled desire leads to unwise moves. Emotions takes over logic and we are disillusioned to think we are the best and we know what we do. We would be called a saint if at any moment we know what we are doing.

To me, the recession would be a long lasting one and the casualty it brings along will definitely be something disastrous. Now what makes a man survive this episode is not knowledge, books or any lessons from gurus. Its the test of their mind, their mental strength and their faith to cross this bitter cold.

"Let it be"

Everything flows by its course and its meant to be so.
Land scorched by molten lavas gave way to fertile plot for vegetations.
The rains falls to the ground, seeps into the rivers and enters the ocean.
Planetary movement has since been so for thousands of aeons.

Best way to all worries is to "Let it be so".
Best way to educate a teenage is let him experience.
Best way to relieve stress is to let it out.
Best way to apologies is to say it out.
Best way to get things done is to "Do it".

In life there are things we can control
things that can not be fully control and
things that can not be controlled.

Things that can be controlled, do it with all your heart and soul.
things that can not be fully controlled, just do your part to your best
things that can not be controlled, worries and frustration won't help either.

Life I feel is all in our hands, how we live dictates by no one by solely us.
Feelings I feel is all in our heart, how we feel depends on what we wish to feel.
Mindset I feel is all in our mind, how we perceive thing and do is what our intention dictates.

Be and live just like a painter. He decides how thick on thin are the lines.
How heavy and soft are his strokes, he decide.
What colour to paint, he decides to.
What flavors for his masterpiece, he decides too.
And most importantly he creates life and meaning into his world.

Hair pulling times...

Jus seriously don't get it sia...... jus thought that after the Drama my time and mind should be free . . .but . . .

Work is piling up due to the current financial climate and the nearing of the release of Budget. Plus don't know why.... i seem to experience some unknown emotional stress which is rather frustrating!! Opps i should try to control. But i suppose tat unknown frustration seems to be the main contributing factor and definitely something I would normal....throw aside.

Seriously my mind is not performing well sia.......too much emotional and less to the logical mass. Just have no idea whats happening.

But anyway.......tats not me and I am not my usual self. Nonsense aside now as I know my studies is lacking le. Pple out there please do not jus assume who I am, what I will do and what I am doing....and I am damn simple......no need to think like I am scheming or some weird pervertic desperado. I am me.

Full concentration into my studies for the upcoming times ahead does not mean I will throw or leave everything aside.....I would just do everything within my constraints and means. Buddhism is still my life......as for others....hmm.....sui yuan ba.....

SMS

Life slowing down and adjusting back to my education. I am terribly lagging behind........shit! Time to camp in the library and befriend the books...haiz Luckily I had a great classmate that live so near me......must grab her tight and hog her with questions.....hahaha luckily I think she does not know I have a blog......

Really love to send sms yet hate to receive one...haiz. Like as in cheaper lor and easy too.....but hate is I think I am hyper-sensitive to sms. Pple might just not mean anything ..... but i am someone that thinks too much......i do hope indeed I have think too much... Still remember I was worst last time...very particular about sms....if the sender sents me too casually or short.....i would not return.

I believe as a tool of communication we should also try our best to make sure the right objective is spread across. haha......jus received a few tat left behind some not tat good feeling. Content is perfectly fine but its just too short... makes me feel I am behaving like a pest.....or do i?? Am i tat dreadful to tok too? Hopefully not ba.

But FRIENZ out there! I do get abit agitated and hype up at times.... also naggy and draggy at times. So if I am a pain in the neck.....pls let me know!! I do value your opinions ....its a form of self enrichment...

成果展

Thanks folks for spending the time with us! And indeed thanks for all the wonderful comments and feedback.

Just with less than a months preparation. We did up the drama. All thanks to every single person involves. We uses the most props, the least external helps and I believe gives the most touching sensation. And really thanks to our little director yang that sacrifices her sleeps. How I can wish I can help shoulder more...

In the beginning, I was just thinking with doubts... the crew were all busy working adults, gathering them would prove difficult. But now I believe, with a clear objective and directions, people follows. Working with the crews, I see comfort in my directions. Isn't this my objective as well, touching people, spreading the Dharma and showing others the way.

After the event we party at Kellyn's house... the time was crazy. I believe we have all enjoyed. The room was spread with laughters and our energy. No single instances were cold and quiet. Although I am "sacrificed" in the first round.....hahahaha but its alright. 3 couples were born and I have gotten the signals I want.

I believe by working more with them....I am doing what I have always intended to do . . .

Regrets with no regrets

The line has been casted long ago. The fisherman has been waiting with doubts and questions above the muddy pool. But now the water is clear. The fish has pulled the line. The fisherman continues to wait patiently for the fish as he knows if its pulled too early, the fish will be scared away. He believes the fish needs more time and space perhaps.

The fisherman shall just continue to wait patiently . . .

触碰

刹那间的触碰， 最遥远的拥抱。
偶尔间的对话， 最渴望的期待。
别人说的不可能，欺骗自己的有可能。
两人之间的交流，只能在朋友的互动。
多么希望之间没有个他，
但我们之间从始就没有之间。

常常唱这甜蜜感人的情歌，
从来却不是情歌里的主角。
是勇气的缺乏，
还是怕自己的冲动是种负担。
好想就冲动一次，
却怕自己的执着是种自私。

偶尔的不想太多，
或许是自我的保护。
自己曾想着想，
最想追求的是什么结果，
其实只是她的自由快乐。
最想要的回报或许只是她每天的微笑。

Skit this Sat

Feels incredibly tired yet enriching.....I am fortunate. A year ago I have never thought to help in doing the skit, organising people, preparing the props and being part of such wonderful environment. To make things happen, a team is definitely needed but not necessary experience or passionate stage producers!

With us there are IT personnel, finance, manufacturing, designers, shipping and others. But non have any mature stage experience......all come together thru faith. Faith and trust that we know we can count on each other. Faith that we know we can use the skit to bring meanings to people in our mins long short drama.

Thinking back on one of the youth gatherings I came across mid this yr. Some of the past event organisers shared with us that they start with nothing but just have the mindset of wanting to do something and the idea of "jus do it".

Really look forward to hear the cheers of the audience this sat. Its not about we have perform well but a recognition of the effort we have put in . . . to further propel us in times ahead. Folks! so hope to see you ard!! Details jus approach me!