Disturbance

Emotional roller-coaster again. I'm starting to suspect even guys have down period once every moment. I still remember how hard I tried to keep my emotions in check but things sometimes don't turn up well.

Now I could apprehend how desires could lead to frustrations and troubled mind. Results seems obvious but it is the natural fighting spirit of man to give a decent fight to what he wants. Or maybe a fight is not really what I want. After all, I do know the result from the fight would either be futile or foolish.

If it is not a fight, then what is it? To me inclination is more like a suitable word. Just like how a flower would lean naturally towards the sun rays. Its just like a familiar yet logically distant feeling. Or does this feeling arise from cyclic foolish self thoughts?

But strange enough after the usual logical thoughts, its just seem too real. Yet I clearly know the attractiveness is something not material and surface. Its is definitely more deeper. Maybe to me it is more like a journey. A journey that I know I will grow from . . .

Whatever the turn out maybe, its still something noble which I wish to pursue also.